


Matter of Time

by Chrysalin



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon, Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dubious Consent Due To Identity Issues, F/M, Kidnapping, Memory Loss, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-07
Updated: 2019-06-07
Packaged: 2020-04-12 03:30:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19123669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chrysalin/pseuds/Chrysalin
Summary: A mysterious girl in the park with odd things to say, but it becomes so much more.





	Matter of Time

**Author's Note:**

> I'm copying over old works from Fanfiction.
> 
> This story began life as a thought experiment, just working out some things for my big Sailor Moon series. It developed a life of its own and became this angsty monstrosity that I still consider one of my most powerful pieces.

Mamoru knew he could be a bit of a prick. Who wouldn’t when they couldn’t remember anything before their sixth birthday and constantly dreamt of a mystery girl begging for help? He didn’t make friends easily. Motoki tried pushing him into being more social, but he just kept to himself. He lived alone in a nice apartment with a car and motorcycle, courtesy of the trust fund his parents left him. He worked when he had time so he didn’t have to depend completely on the fund. He went to school – Moto Azabu High, at the moment. He was seventeen years old and that was his state of existing: school, work, home, repeat. 

One night, the young man was frustrated by the notes he needed to go over for his next chemistry exam and couldn’t concentrate. Grabbing his beloved green blazer, he headed out for some air. Instinct led him to the rose gardens in the park, an area he found very comforting. The full moon was high overhead and everything had taken on a silvery glow. He might have stepped into another world. It was absolutely amazing.

“What brings you to the garden tonight?” He spun, looking for the source of the voice. It was young and female, but no one was in sight. A soft laugh came. “Up here, silly.”

He glanced in that direction and spotted a girl in a tree. She looked about the same age he was, maybe a little younger. Her long blonde hair was in two buns with pigtails hanging from them. She was barefoot despite the night’s chill and wearing only a flowing white dress. Her big blue eyes watched him with a hint of quiet amusement.

“Who are you?”

“At the moment or in general?” she asked lazily, leaning back. “I have been addressed so many ways. What is your name?”

“Chiba Mamoru.”

She nodded. “Protector of the Earth. It suits you.”

“I’m no one’s protector.”

“Oh? Perhaps you have not yet found the one you are meant to guard. In many lives and many times, you do. Maybe not now, but someday.”

He stared at her. “Who are you? Do you know me?”

“In a way. No, I have never met you before in this life, but in any other we cross paths again and again. I imagine our destinies will soon be entwined once more.”

“You didn’t answer my first question.”

“How rude of me,” she said with a smile. “For the moment, I am called Usagi.”

“Usagi… You look really familiar.”

“I would hope so. With time, you will know who I am. Find the Silver Crystal, Chiba Mamoru, if you want your answers.”

“Silver Crystal?!” he repeated. “You know what it is?”

“Of course. It is mine.”

“You’re the girl in my dreams. The princess.”

“Perhaps. I was a princess, once. Now I am a memory, the hidden facet of another girl’s personality. I do not know if you will recognize us when we meet again, but she will know you.”

“No, don’t go!”

“This is not good-bye. You will see me again, Mamoru-san… Endymion-sama. It is only a matter of time.”

The girl vanished as if she had never been just as the moon sank below the treetops. 

88888888

“I’m telling you, Motoki-kun, this girl was different! I mean, she was just gorgeous, and mysterious, and enchanting!”

“I never thought I’d see the day, Mamoru-kun.”

“Eh?” The dark haired teen stared at his friend in bewilderment.

“You’re in love, buddy. This mystery woman has you hooked and you talked to her what, five minutes? Less? I’d never have thought you’d lose your head over a girl.” Motoki grinned. 

“I don’t – She’s not – Motoki!”

The blond held up his hands defensively. “Don’t kill the messenger! You fell in love all on your own, my friend.”

Mamoru scowled and tossed some money on the counter for his coffee before heading to the park again. A girl was there, but he didn’t know if she was the one from before. The hair was the same, but she looked younger and wore a Juuban Middle School uniform. It was hard to tell when she was lying face down on the grass.

“I was wondering if you’d come back. After last night, I didn’t know if you would.”

“You’re… her?”

“Surprised?”

“No. A little shocked to see you so soon, but not that you’re her.”

“It was only a matter of time.” She sat up and studied him. “I like to come here when I have a chance. It’s quiet. It’s… safe.”

“From what?”

“The world, life. Other things, later.”

“Like what?” She just waved a hand instead of answering, so he changed the topic. “Your name is Usagi, right?”

“Tsukino Usagi, at your service,” the blonde said with a mock salute. “You’re Chiba Mamoru, I know.”

He sat down next to her and tried again. “What other things?”

“You know I want the Silver Crystal. Unless I have amazing luck, I’m not going to be the only one looking for it. I’ll need you.”

“I wouldn’t be able to help much.”

“Of course you can. You save me again and again. If you look at fifty lives, I’ll find the crystal uncontested in two or three. Out of a hundred, I’ll be okay on my own in one.”

“How can I help if that’s the case?”

“You’ll remember. It really is only a matter of time.” She ran off as he wondered if it had all been a dream, or if he’d been visited by an angel without her wings. 

88888888

He saw her from a distance on occasion, but they didn’t get a chance to talk. After two month with almost no contact, he made his way to the park out of habit and finally found her. Usagi was sitting in a tree as the princess had been the night they met, staring hatefully at an object in her hand.

“Usagi-san?” Her gaze shot to him and her weight shifted, toppling her. As she fell, he dashed over and caught her before setting her on her feet. “Hey, are you okay?”

She nodded slowly, tucking whatever she’d been holding in a pocket. “I’m fine. Thanks for catching me, but I should really get going.”

“What? Wait!” He couldn’t resist grabbing her arm. “Stay. I’ve been looking for you for weeks. Can’t we talk?”

The blonde sighed, brushing a loose strand of impossibly long hair behind her ear. “You must have a lot of questions.”

“A few,” he admitted. “I was starting to think you were a dream.”

Usagi shook her head. “I’m real. But any dream figure could say that, huh? You might as well ask your questions.”

“Who are you?”

She sat on the grass, tilting her head in his direction. “Do you really want to know?”

“I want to know,” he replied with heartfelt conviction, sitting next to her.

She stared into the distance, and for a moment he thought she wouldn’t answer. “At the moment, I’m what you see: a clumsy fourteen year old struggling through middle school. I’m also the Moon Princess, Serenity. Serenity is the one who wants you to find the Silver Crystal, the one who sent you dreams for as long as you can remember.”

He shot her a surprised look. “I never told you about my dreams.”

“You mentioned it to Serenity. It doesn’t matter though; I already knew. It’s the same in every life we have on Earth. In many of my lives as Usagi, I also save the world as Sailor Moon. She’s the reason I’m here tonight, and why I’m talking to you instead of leaving.”

“I don’t understand,” Mamoru murmured, watching her.

“You’re not supposed to know yet,” she frowned, “but I’m too tired to keep secrets tonight. The time has come for Sailor Moon to make her grand entrance, but I don’t want to. I’m tired of the fighting, the death, the suffering. Being a warrior is part of who I am, but I hate it.”

“Who’s Sailor Moon?”

“It’d be easier if I could show you, but that wouldn’t work. She’ll be in the news anyway. The first battle can’t be more than a day away. Maybe tonight.”

“I don’t want you to get hurt,” he murmured.

“I called you protector when we met, didn’t I? You’ll keep me safe. It may take time for you to realize, though. We’ll have to see. It’s only a –”

“Matter of time, I know. I’m starting to get sick of that phrase.”

“I can relate,” she said dryly. “…I want to stop. I want to rest instead of being caught in a loop. Serenity, Usagi, Serenity, Usagi, over and over, universes dying and being reborn with us.”

“Why are we sent back so many times?”

“My heart tells me there’s something wrong in my lives. I’ve been close once or twice, I think, but I mess up and it starts again.” She sighed and sprawled on the grass. “There have even been lives where my Senshi never appear – I die so early in those. The two of us aren’t enough to win. I’m starting to wonder if I’ll ever succeed.”

“And if you manage it someday? What then?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. I hope I’ll finally be free once that happens. I want to die, to remember what it’s like to be mortal. I don’t want to live through this again.”

“You want to die?!”

She chuckled. “I’m not suicidal, so calm down. I meant that when I die in this life, I want it to be the last time. I want to rest, not be reborn to fight again. My soul is tired.”

They laid there thinking. 

“Sailor Moon, huh? Do you have a cool hero speech or pose?”

“Both,” she said, disgusted, “but the speeches are cheesy and the pose is lame.”

“Well, maybe that’s what you have to fix!”

She laughed for a long time before settling down. “Thanks.” Usagi turned and smiled. “You make me feel like there’s hope. You always do, but I’m still grateful. I think I can manage now.” And once again, she was gone as if she’d flown away when he blinked. 

88888888

He looked for her the instant he woke up with a Rainbow Crystal clutched in his hand, as soon he knew he was Tuxedo Kamen, Sailor Moon’s personal savior. And there she was, face down in the grass. It was the way he’d found her as Usagi the first time, just as she had been where he met Serenity when she told him about Sailor Moon.

“Are you all right?” he demanded anxiously, checking what little he could see of her for injuries. “You’re not hurt?”

Usagi shook her head as she sat up. “I’m fine. You got to me in time.”

Mamoru rocked back on his heels in shock. “You knew it was me all this time? I didn’t even realize it at first! And about my blackouts? Of course you did,” he answered himself. “You already know all of this, don’t you?”

“Blackouts are normal, unfortunately. They should end now that you know the truth.”

“Do I really?” he asked.

Her lips twitched. “When you’re ready, you’ll get your answers.”

“Sometimes I think you enjoy being cryptic,” he grumbled as he took a seat next to her.

“It’s not intentional,” she laughed. “Really.”

He studied the Rainbow Crystal he’d just taken out of his pocket, then offered it to her. “I wanted to find the Silver Crystal for you.”

She shook her head, folding his fingers back around it. “It’ll appear when it’s time. The crystals are useless without the trigger to bring them together.”

“What trigger?”

Her eyes drifted closed. “I can’t say. I wouldn’t even if I could.”

Mamoru hesitated before wrapping her in a hug. “I worry about you. How can someone so kind deserve this nightmare? I’ll know what’s actually going on eventually, won’t I?”

“Of course. It’s a –”

“Matter of time. I know, I know.”

She shrugged. “Do you have any other questions? I’ll answer what I can.”

He considered and discarded several serious ones before settling on “Are you really that much of a klutz?”

Usagi laughed again. “Pretty much. I get better occasionally, but it seems to be something I can’t escape, and it’s always at its worst when it’s the most inconvenient. I’ve tripped in front of a monster more times than I can count.”

“Then I swoop in and save you?” There was a merry twinkle in his eye.

“Generally, yeah. Sometimes it’s one of my Senshi if you’re not there. I love the girls; they’re the best friends ever.”

That stung a little. “So if they’re your best friends, where do I fit in?” Jealousy churned in his gut despite how much he was trying to ignore it.

Her mouth formed an ‘O’ in understanding. “You think I don’t like you?”

“No.” He growled his agitation and ran one hand through his dark hair. “Am I just your protector? Is that it? That and a guy you talk to now and then?”

She scowled. “You’ve never been ‘just’ anything. Yes, you’re my protector. You’re the one person I’ll talk to about anything, the one who’ll always be there. You know more about me than anyone, including my family or my Senshi.” Her bright eyes locked on his. “I love you. I’ve always loved you. I’ll always love you. Is that what you needed to know?”

A wave of emotion crashed into him and he hardly knew what to think. Finally he found some words. “Do you love me or the person I used to be?” They were the wrong words.

She jumped away. “How can you say that?! I fall in love with you in every life, but not for the past. I love you for you. Maybe someday you’ll understand.”

She sprinted away, but he saw a glimmer of tears like tiny diamonds against her cheeks. He wondered if she was going to run every time they met and wished he could take it all back.

88888888

She went to the garden, but he wasn’t there. Of course he wasn’t; he was gone, taken by the enemy like so many times before. Usagi wondered why it still hurt. It never stopped tearing her apart to see him almost die trying to save her. It never stopped destroying her when he was taken by the Dark Kingdom to be twisted into an evil puppet bent on her destruction. 

The moonlight offered scant comfort. Princess Serenity stirred inside her and another body began to form, spinning and spinning until her silver-haired twin appeared. She reached for Usagi’s arm to steady herself. 

“He’s gone,” Usagi said quietly as she sat at the base of a tree. “Again.”

Serenity joined her. “And again, I will remind you it is not forever.”

A faint chuckle escaped, but it was humorless. “The next time I see him he’ll be my enemy. How will that help?”

The princess shrugged. “In my lives he does not turn. This is your cross to bear, just as killing myself over Endymion-sama’s body is mine.”

“It can’t go on like this forever,” Usagi said, completely exhausted. “The battles, dying and being reborn… I can’t do this much longer.”

“Neither can I,” her so-called older and wiser self admitted. “Knowing the end will come, being forced to watch as my world falls to ruins. I am so tired.”

“Every day the Senshi tell me he’ll be all right.”

“This is not the end,” Serenity assured her. “He knows you love him just as I love Endymion. These things will never truly be over.”

“He asked me what he was to me, like I only thought of him as a guardian, and if I cared about him just because of the past he doesn’t understand,” Usagi whispered. 

Serenity’s compassion shone in her eyes. “Oh, Usagi… He was unsure of where he stood. He does not have the memories to lean on.”

“I already love him so much!”

“Then do not give in. Trust in your love.”

A voice whispered her name on the wind. Her fists clenched as she fought the urge to weep, knowing in her heart her soulmate was saying goodbye the only way he could. She couldn’t hold it off for long. With a wail, she turned and sobbed on her past self’s shoulder, wishing every moment for the man she loved.

88888888

When she saw him in the rose garden, she wanted to turn and run like she had so many times before. The Dark Kingdom’s prince didn’t belong in the only place she’d been close to Mamoru. She didn’t want his evil echo to see her cry again. She didn’t get a chance to leave – he looked her way before she could. Their eyes locked and she wondered for a single heart-stopping moment if he knew she was Sailor Moon. When he didn’t attack, she forced herself to relax. 

His head cocked slightly to one side, and his expression was at once puzzled and amused. She almost didn’t notice he was dressed like a civilian instead of the warrior prince or dashing hero-turned-villain she saw most of the time. “Can I help you?”

Usagi shook her head and backed away. He stepped closer, mirroring her movements, following until she was pressed against the tree Serenity had been sitting in the night they met. He leaned toward her, one arm on the bark over her head to keep him upright.

“Do I know you?” he asked. “You seem so familiar…”

“We – The lake,” she lied quickly. “I thought you were someone I used to know.”

Endymion nodded. “You had a locket with you. It played a haunting melody.”

The Star Locket, all she had of Mamoru, was safe in her room. “Just a music box.”

His eyes narrowed. “From a boy?”

She studied her shoes. “…Yes.”

Endymion stepped away. The blonde watched warily, not daring to move “Who are you?” he demanded. “Why are you so familiar to me?! It can’t be from one chance meeting.” Usagi shook her head, silent again. “Are you scared? Have I done something to frighten you?” His voice became gentle, almost cajoling. “I’m sorry if my temper upset you. I didn’t mean to.”

She couldn’t bring herself to look at him. “I’m not supposed to talk to strange men.”

The prince smiled thinly. “I should introduce myself then. My name is Endymion.”

She didn’t know how to respond. If she gave her real name, she might make Mamoru’s memories break through and it would put her in danger even in her civilian form. It would have been worth the risk if it brought him back, but she had her Senshi to consider. 

“Serena,” she said finally. It was a name she’d used in other lives when she fled her past. 

Endymion took her hand and kissed the back like the old-fashioned prince he used to be. Usagi felt chilled to the bone. “A pleasure, Serena. Stay. Please.”

“I really need to get home. My mother is expecting me.” She tried to pull her hand out of his grip, but it was pointless – he was too strong. As Sailor Moon she might’ve been able to. As a normal human there was no way. 

“I only want to talk,” he promised. “You feel very nostalgic to me.”

Usagi sighed, unable to resist. He’d always been her greatest strength and her biggest weakness. “Fine,” she mumbled after a moment, “but not for long.”

88888888

One time became many. He would look for her if she wasn’t at the park when he wanted to see her, and the Senshi almost spotted him during one such search. Usagi nearly gave herself a panic attack as she tried to keep out of his sight without rousing suspicion, urging the girls in the other direction. Even as her enemy she didn’t want to risk him to get hurt. 

The last time she’d seen him, he’d kissed her. Torn between her heart and mind, she didn’t resist. Later she decided it was what sin tasted like – dark and dangerous but oh so good. Still, he was appearing too often, and there was no way to know he was gone when she went into battle. It was only a matter of time before things came to a head. It just couldn’t last.

It was late one night and she had to transform on the run. Kunzite was stirring up trouble and she was the closest. She knew Endymion had seen it as soon as she did. She felt his rage and had to choke back a sob as she hurried to the fight. The youma was weak and she got rid of it in no time at all, which she considered a rare stroke of luck. She waved the others off after they powered down and headed home to rest. When Endymion appeared, she wasn’t surprised.

“You never told me. I trusted you and you lied. All this time…”

“I – Endymion –”

He grabbed her arm, and the next thing she knew they were in the park. The angry prince shoved her against a tree. “Why did you lie to me?!”

“How could I tell you?!” Usagi asked. “Knowing what you are, what could I do?!”

“I thought you were different from everyone in the Dark Kingdom. I thought you were something rare – a truly honest person. Now I know how foolish I was to believe that.”

He had her trapped in a vise-like grip despite her thrashing. “I haven’t lied!”

“You lied about your name. You let me touch you, hold you, even kiss you.”

“Stop it!” she shouted, wrenching away. She rubbed her arms to ease the ache. “If I’d told you who I really was, you would’ve come after me. My Senshi would fight you. It was one thing seeing you in battle. You getting hurt for trying to be happy – I couldn’t handle it!”

He reached for her again, and she was too upset to run. His fingers twined into her hair, holding her head still so he could see her face. “I don’t believe you. I can’t trust you anymore, even if what you say sounds true. You lied to me, so don’t you owe me?”

“Let go!” Usagi cried, trying to slip out of his grasp. “You’re not him even if you wear his face! Just let me go!”

“Him? The boy whose name you called when you saw me for the first time on the shores of the lake? The one who gave you that locket you love so much?”

She closed her eyes. “You’re not him,” she repeated. “Just let go of me.”

“You call me ‘Endymion-sama’,” he whispered. The dark prince was holding her against him now, a trap she didn’t know if she could escape. “You look at me with such adoring eyes. I think you love me, hm? No matter how much you argue and hesitate, you can’t resist.”

“You’re wrong.” The protest was half-hearted at best. “Just let me go home and we’ll pretend this didn’t happen. I won’t tell the girls about this. I won’t say a word to anyone.”

“I don’t believe you.”

With one last great effort, Usagi pulled free. “Stay away from me,” she whispered. She ran like she always did, pretending not to hear his reply, because if she hadn’t heard it she could try to act like nothing was wrong. She could ignore her world coming apart at the seams.

“No, I don’t think I will. You belong to me.”

88888888

His presence was constant, and Usagi was being pushed into a corner. The Senshi noticed how jumpy she’d become and Mercury realized Endymion had to be responsible for her growing agitation. The blonde tried everything she could think of to distract them, but nothing worked. They were determined to put an end to the danger he posed. They didn’t expect him to be ready. 

They were about to search for him, but he appeared at Hikawa Shrine a step from their beloved princess, and he took her just like that. Mercury traced them to Juuban Park. When they arrived, Sailor Moon was flush against Tuxedo Kamen as he kissed her. 

“Let go of her!” Mars cried.

He pulled back, dark eyes glittering as they searched his captive’s. And he plucked her brooch from the front of her Senshi uniform. 

“No!” The blonde desperately reached for the golden trinket, but it had already vanished. Her transformation shattered, leaving a powerless Usagi in her enemy’s clutches. 

“Yes,” he murmured against her ear. “You’re all mine now, little princess.”

“No – No, Endymion –!” He kissed her again, and despite her very real fear she couldn’t resist the bond between them. She melted in his arms. 

“Take your hands off of her,” Mercury hissed, tone unusually harsh. 

He raised one brow. “She wants me, Mercury. You must be able to see that.”

 

“You’re using her feelings against her,” Venus accused. 

“Of course I am.” His voice carried an icy chill. “The reason hardly matters. Did she ever tell you she’s been seeing me for months? No, I can see from your expressions she hasn’t. Do share, Serena. After all, you once said they were your very best friends.”

Usagi jolted like she’d been struck. “You can’t have… Mamoru-san?”

“I never said I didn’t know who you thought I was,” he crooned. “Yes, I remember what you told my weaker self. I have the memories of that person. And I devoured him.”

“No. He – he has to be in there somewhere. He can’t be gone.”

“He is,” Endymion whispered. “Will you leave me when I’m all that’s left of him?”

Tears filled her bright blue eyes. “Why are you doing this to me?”

“Because you must choose. Your friends are standing in front of me, my enemies, and they are so… fragile. If you decide to walk away right now, I couldn’t guarantee their safety.”

“Don’t do it,” she begged. “Endymion-sama, please. Don’t hurt them.”

“I have no interest in the Senshi. You’re all I want, little princess. They would only be collateral damage. Regrettable, really, if you are capable of such a feeling.”

“If you take me to the Dark Kingdom, Queen Beryl will kill me without hesitation.”

“Beryl is dead. She heard of my interest in a mortal girl and meant to have Kunzite get rid of you before things went any further so she could have me. I couldn’t allow that.”

Usagi swallowed hard. “You killed them. Oh, sweet goddess. What did you do?”

“I protected you. It was what you wanted, wasn’t it? For Beryl to lose.”

“Not like this. You can’t do this, Mamoru-”

“I’m not your precious Mamoru.”

Her eyes closed. “I know that. Endymion-sama, please. I can’t lose anyone else.”

“You’ll lose them regardless. Will you lose them to distance, or will they die for you?”

Jupiter advanced on him, lightning crackling in her fists as she prepared to put an end to the unsavory situation. “Why don’t we see if you’re the one she loses?”

“Jupiter, no!” Usagi flung herself at the other girl. “Don’t. I can’t lose him either. I’m sorry,” she whispered. She faced the dark prince. “You win. I – I can’t fight you.”

“Usagi, the crystal!” Mars cried. “Use the Silver Crystal!”

“And kill him? I can’t.” She didn’t struggle when he pulled her to him again. “I’m sorry.”

And they were gone. 

88888888

They appeared in a dark room and he set her on the massive bed before lying down. 

“What are you going to do to me?” she asked, trying to fight back the inevitable tears.

Endymion stroked her hair, barely paying attention. “I intend to keep you.”

“I’m not a toy you can play with and discard on a whim.” She shuddered as he began kissing his way down her throat, driving her mad. “Tell me. Please.”

He sat up and studied her. “Do you truly want to know?” She nodded. “I see. You’re mine now, little princess. You’ll stay here with me, and only me.”

“I can’t survive here.”

“No?” His attention shifted to her earlobe as one hand idly wiped away the teardrops on her pale cheeks. “I’m not trying to hurt you.”

She nearly choked on a hysterical laugh. “Yes, you are. You always are.”

His chuckle was dark, tinged with danger. “Perhaps a little, but I meant in any physical sense. I would not… strike you.”

“But I can’t… stay here…” He just hummed his confusion, not even pausing in his actions. “The evil energy,” she managed on a gasp. “It hurts.”

“Then I’ll find you another place. Nonetheless, you won’t be leaving me.”

“I – Endymion-sama, please, don’t do this. Let go of me.”

She was shocked when he complied, though it was clearly reluctant. “If you insist. You are still quite young.” Before she could thank him, he continued. “Don’t take this to mean we won’t be together. I’m only giving you time to prepare yourself first.”

“Then, can I go home?” Usagi asked as a faint bit of hope stirred. 

“No. If I release you, the Senshi would take you from me. It would be inconvenient to go after them to bring you back. You said you didn’t want them to get hurt.”

“I wouldn’t go; I promise.” She meant it too, despite the poisonous taste of the words.

“They’d overpower you. You must stay with me, where you’re safe.”

“They’d never do that to me,” she argued. 

“You’re innocent indeed if you believe they wouldn’t go against you in this. They were meant to guard you, little princess. They took that duty very seriously.”

“You were supposed to protect me too.” Her voice was low and hurt. “What happened?”

“There are so many intriguing things in the dark,” Endymion murmured before leaning down to kiss her again. Pulling away, he continued. “I can still protect you.”

“How can you protect me from yourself?”

He laughed. “You have no protection from me. You had best get used to that.”

88888888

Usagi had to admit her prison was at least lovely. The park had been closed off; she could see through the barrier, but it hurt to view a world she couldn’t reach. She stayed in its center, enjoying the flowers and sunlight. The only exit was a portal to a mountainside mansion. It was removed enough from the city to please Endymion as well as not posing a risk to Usagi’s health. It was sealed too. She fell asleep in the park most nights. She normally woke up in his arms. 

On a few very rare occasions, Endymion had been persuaded to release her for a few hours, but each ended badly – the Senshi were watching for such opportunities and snatched her. They only survived because Usagi begged the prince not to hurt them. 

It had been a long time. Usagi was twenty-one years old. 

It hadn’t surprised her when other enemies appeared. One man from the future had heard stories and came after her, but that infuriated Endymion. He had beaten the interloper severely and sent him away with warnings of what terrible fate would befall him if he ever dared return. Anything else that might’ve happened was kept from her, in her world of flowers and tears. 

Well… Not everything. There’d been one terrible day when she’d been involved in the Sailor Wars again, the day almost everyone she loved died. Trapped as she was, Usagi had no idea what was happening in the outside world. It had taken the sky turning black before she realized something was very wrong. She broke out of her prison to find a horrifying tableau.

Her beloved Senshi, her best friends – they were dead on a roof. They disappeared before her eyes. There were others she didn’t know in this life, but they too were coming apart as their lights faded. The Starlights, companions she’d come to cherish. The Outer Senshi, gone. Only Endymion remained, and that was only because his Sailor Crystal was so tainted by Metallia’s energy that Galaxia didn’t know what to make of it.

She had to fight. She summoned her power for the first time since her imprisonment and fought with all the strength of her thousands of years. Sailor Moon won the day, but the Silver Crystal came treacherously close to taking her life as its price. She wouldn’t have survived had Endymion not used his remaining Earth magic to bring her back from the very edge. She’d been months recovering even so, barely able to move.

It was hard not knowing what difficulties her loved ones faced without her. Her Senshi… and Endymion. She’d never been able to deny her feelings, and he used it against her time and time again. Usagi was his and the dark prince enjoyed flaunting it. Sometimes he’d leave little openings she could try to escape through just to enjoy her struggle. 

She sighed and leaned back against her favorite tree’s trunk, nestled in its upper branches. The park was quiet around her. 

Usagi didn’t know what to expect from her future. In her other lives, awful though they’d been, there was a pattern. She knew what was supposed to happen. There would have been a cataclysm followed by the rise of the utopian Crystal Tokyo. They would’ve been the king and queen of a perfect world. It was obvious that wasn’t going to happen. 

He appeared below and glanced around until he found her. “What are you doing?”

“Thinking about the future,” she said mildly, not bothering to move from her spot.

“You already know what your future is. You’ll stay with me.”

“It won’t last forever. Nothing does.” Finally, Usagi smiled and shook her head. “It’s not important; don’t worry about it. Can you do me a favor though?”

“Within reason.”

“Could you let me go to the city today? Just for an hour or two. You can even distract the girls if it makes you feel more comfortable. I just… I’m tired of being alone. I want to see people again. I want to be able to talk to people again.”

“Why now? You haven’t asked for a very long time,” the prince observed.

 

“Would you have let me? It’s been five years since Galaxia and I haven’t been allowed out the entire time. I gave up. I just need to feel normal for a while. Please, Endymion-sama.”

He studied her. “What do you gain from this?”

 

“I told you, I want to feel normal. Is that so terrible?”

“I suppose not,” he relented. “Only an hour, though. My presence in the city will make the Senshi suspicious enough without drawing it out to absurd lengths.”

“Okay. When can I leave?”

“I’ll escort you now, if you’d like.”

 

Usagi hurriedly dropped from her perch and they vanished. He didn’t know she wouldn’t be coming back, or that his world could fall apart in one short hour.

88888888

For two years, no one could find her. It was as if she’d vanished completely – there were no records for Tsukino Usagi. The name ‘Serena’ was all they had to go on, and it was hardly rare. Endymion put in several appearances to torment the Senshi, hoping they’d know where she was. It accomplished nothing. It was as though she’d never existed at all. 

Makoto finally tracked her down. The Senshi had searched separately, following every possible lead in hopes of locating their princess before Endymion did. After a few months he’d realized they were at as much of a loss as he was and started looking himself, but they let themselves hope a little more each time he failed. 

The brunette knocked on the door of an apartment in an old but decent apartment building in one of the big American cities and waited for a response. Seeing her best friend’s blue eyes peeking up at her was possibly the greatest thing she’d ever witnessed. 

“Mako-chan. I – Come in.” Her Japanese took a moment after going unused for years.

Makoto waited until they were inside to do anything, but speaking wasn’t the first thing on her agenda. She pulled Usagi into a tight hug until the blonde was squirming. That done, she took a step back and looked the smaller girl over. Her hair was the first change she noticed: instead of the style she remembered, Usagi had cut it to shoulder length and wore it in a simple ponytail. Her eyes were the same, but there were faint circles underneath. She was a little pale and thin, but undeniably alive. Makoto would never admit it, but she’d began to fear otherwise. 

“Where have you been?” she asked finally. “Were you here the entire time?”

The blonde fidgeted warily. “Endymion-sama didn’t follow you, did he?”

She shook her head, seeing how anxious her friend was. “I gave him the slip before I left Europe. He probably knows I’m in America, but not where. Usagi-chan, what happened? Why did you just up and disappear like that? We’ve been worried sick!”

“I…”

“Did Endymion do something to you?! Is that what it is?!”

Usagi flinched. “Not like you’re thinking, Mako-chan. He wouldn’t – I can’t say he’d never hurt me, but not that way. Does that even make sense?”

 

Makoto stared at her for several beats before nodding. “Yeah, I guess so. So what’s really wrong? I know you too well to think you just got tired one day and left. You would’ve run a lot sooner if it was so simple, and he would’ve found you just as quickly.”

“I… I have something to show you.”

She led the way further into the apartment, which was much nicer than the outside of the building would’ve indicated. Coming to a door, the blonde gestured for silence. Opening it gave the other woman every answer she’d been looking for. A crib rested against the far wall, and the rest of the room was littered with baby toys and other paraphernalia. The pale pink décor made it obvious Usagi had given birth to a little girl. 

“A baby?” Makoto asked finally. “You have a baby. That’s why you left?”

“What else could I have done?”

She sighed. “Nothing. Even for our sakes, you had to put her first. Why didn’t you come to us? We would have helped you in a heartbeat.”

 

“I told Endymion to distract you that day so he’d know I was alone when I left. I didn’t want him to hurt you for what I was doing. I know he must have anyway, and I’m so sorry for that, but I just couldn’t give our little girl to the Dark Kingdom.”

“You don’t have to convince me.” She wandered closer and gazed into the crib, taking in the unusual pink hair as though it was nothing. “What’s her name?”

 

“Tsukino Usagi, same as mine. I call her Chibiusa-chan. I wanted to give her something to remember me by before… Well. I don’t think she’ll have a mom for much longer.”

Makoto spun. “Much longer? You’re not sick, are you?”

“That’s not it. It’s time I do what I should’ve done when this started. I have to stop him.”

“Usagi-chan, you haven’t been Sailor Moon or used the Silver Crystal for years. You have a baby! Shouldn’t you be thinking about her, not a war?!”

“I’m always thinking of her. How can I tell her she’ll never see her father? How can I look her in the eye and say her papa is a horrible person she’ll never meet?” The blonde shook her head. “I have no choice. I put it off because I was scared, then because Chibiusa needed me. It can’t keep going like this, Mako-chan. People are suffering. There’s only one thing to do first.”

“And what’s that?” Makoto asked, not sure she wanted to know the answer. 

“I have to make sure she’ll be safe. I’d leave her with you, but I want you all by me one last time. You’ll do that, won’t you? I’m too scared to go alone. I don’t know how to fight him.”

The brunette swallowed. “We’ll be there till the end, but what are you going to do?”

She transformed in a dazzle of light without a word. Makoto realized with a jolt she’d never changed from her first form as the rest of them grew to be so much more. With a flick of her wrist, the Silver Crystal appeared. Sailor Moon laid one finger on it.

“Pluto.”

The answering blaze was more than her friend would’ve expected after so many years in the dark. When its light died down, the Time Guardian stood in the center of the room, Garnet Rod in hand. Sailor Pluto knelt in front of her princess, and there were tears on her cheeks. “I was beginning to think you really were gone.”

“I’m sorry if I scared you, but I need your help one more time.”

Her crimson eyes shot to Sailor Moon’s blue. “Anything,” she vowed. 

“Keep Chibiusa safe for me.” The Moon Senshi lifted her little girl from the crib and ran gloved fingers through her soft pink hair as the child curled into her embrace. “Bye-bye, sweetheart. Your mama loves you, my beautiful baby, more than you’ll probably ever know.”

Pluto took the baby from her mother’s arms. “I will always watch over her.”

The blonde managed a nod. “Now we need to go to the Dark Kingdom and face him.”

The older warrior inclined her head. “You are ready for the final confrontation.”

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” She tried to smile but couldn’t. “Pluto? Will it really be the last one? Will I… Is this the end?”

“Sailor Moon, if you can find the key to this battle, you will never have to fight again.”

“Right.” There were tears and something like hope in her eyes, but it was hard to say for sure. The years had made her all but unreadable. “Mako-chan, transform. It’s time to fix this”

88888888

The Senshi arrived in the Dark Kingdom’s base in an explosion of brilliance. A plume of evil energy encircled them as soon as they did. When it cleared, Endymion was studying Sailor Moon with narrowed eyes. His hands were closed almost gently around her throat. 

“Where have you been?”

She tugged at his arms. “Let go of me.”

“You haven’t answered my question. Where have you been for all these long months, and why are you finally back? Why are you fighting me again after so long?”

Jupiter launched her Oak Evolution at him, but the attack shattered against his shields when he glanced at her. “Let her go, you sick bastard!”

“Endymion, please,” she whispered. “You don’t want to hurt me.”

“I think I do, actually. You left.”

Sailor Moon went up on tiptoes, reaching for him until her fingers were threaded through his black hair. She kissed him gently, shocking the other Senshi. “It’s time for you to let go. No more, Endymion. We have to put an end to this.”

The surprise the other women had felt when the blonde kissed their enemy was tripled when he actually released her and took a step back. “And what do we have to finish?” the dark prince asked coolly. “You swore you’d stay, little princess. I expected you to keep your word.”

“I had no choice but to leave, and I came back when I had to. It’s not just a matter of time now; it is time. We can’t do this anymore.”

“Time for what? For you to betray me? To kill me?”

“I would never hurt you!” she protested. “You should know that!”

“Then what? We’ve proven your Senshi are no match for me. You’ve been idle for years; what can you hope to accomplish? What do you intend to do, little princess? Submit again?”

“No,” Sailor Moon said quietly. “That’s over. I’m not going back to the way things were, Endymion, not even for you. I have to stop the Dark Kingdom before anyone else pays the price for my weakness. If it means fighting you, I’ll do it.”

“That would involve hurting me. You love me; if not you would’ve fought years ago.”

“Then I won’t fight to hurt you. I’ll fight to win.” The Moon Senshi lifted her hand, power swirling around her in a silver vortex. Her hair, magically returned to its original style, blew back. She let her eyes drift shut as she focused. The Silver Crystal appeared in response, floating over her palm as its light blazed. Her features were barely visible through its brilliance. 

I’ve always fought in hopes of putting an end to the loop I’m caught in. I’ve thought about how much more I have to do, how much further I have to go. Now there’s only one thing I want – his freedom. I’ll accept my fate if that’s what it takes to bring back the man I love. Just save him. Give my little girl her father.

Without warning, Sailor Moon flickered – to the princess, to Super Sailor Moon, Eternal, the queen she would have been – before taking on a form she’d never before obtained. The Silver Crystal was joined by a second gem, substantially larger but with a similar light. As they dimmed the others could see what she’d become. Her uniform was white with silver and gold accents, long ribbons cascading from her bow. A cloak flowed around her. Her hair was silver as well, and the buns were now hearts. She wore no gloves, and a long white staff in her hands appeared as the crystals vanished. Her expression was one of absolute calm. 

“I’m sorry, Endymion,” Sailor Cosmos said finally. “I should have done this a long time ago. Meeting you in the park that day – it scared me. It wasn’t a path I knew, and I wasn’t sure how to undo it. I was afraid that if I took you from the Dark Kingdom you’d die, because you always do. You save me and I lose you. I was scared this time would be forever. Maybe someday you’ll forgive me for being such a coward.” She brushed a stray lock of hair out of his eyes. “I’ll always love you, even if you can’t. Even if all the stars go out.”

“What are you going to do?” he asked. She saw a glimpse of vulnerability and fear before they disappeared behind the dark mask he’d worn for so long. “What are you?”

“I’m Sailor Cosmos. I am what I was always meant to be.”

Despite how much he cared, despite how much he wanted her to stay with him, he was the first to strike. A blast of dark energy shot from his hands, but she tossed it aside. 

“Usagi, no!” Mars shouted. “You can’t!”

“Can’t what?!” Venus demanded. “What is she doing?!”

“Usagi-chan!” Mercury cried. 

“Be strong,” Jupiter advised. “This is your fight now.”

Cosmos shuddered, but she gave a stiff jerk of the head in response. “Stay back. This is between Endymion and I. And just remember… You’ve been the best friends a girl could want.”

“She’s saying goodbye,” Mercury whispered. 

Endymion’s jaw tightened. “This is pointless. You’ll lose, little princess. Will you run away again, like you always do, or will you accept it and stay where you belong?”

“I know where I belong. It’s with you, but it isn’t here.” She initiated the next bout, firing a beam from the head of her staff. Endymion barely dodged after his shield spell failed to stop it. “Endymion, please, just give up. It’ll be easier on both of us. Let me help,” she begged. “Don’t make this any worse than it already is.”

He drew his sword. “Brave talk. Are you going to back it up?”

“If I have to.” She threw off his first slash and arrowed in on his unprotected side, but he swept his blade into her path and made her stumble. She hit the ground hard, but she stared up the sword’s length at him defiantly. 

He shook his head. “Admit that you’ve lost. You don’t have what it takes to beat me.”

“I have to,” she countered, knocking him away and getting to her feet. He stepped closer. Her expression changed without warning, soft and sweet. “Endymion-sama. Look at me.”

The prince’s sword lowered as he met her gaze. “I’ve always seen you more clearly than anyone else in your life. Why do I need to look now?”

Rather than respond, Cosmos pulled him close with her free hand and kissed him. His eyes widened in surprise before drifting shut, the grip on his weapon loosening. The screams from both their throats seconds later were unearthly. The young woman managed to back away a little before collapsing at his feet. Endymion leaned on his sword, relying on it to keep him upright. It was only partially successful; he slipped to his knees as they continued to cry out. 

A dazzling light filled the chamber, momentarily blinding the Guardian Senshi. When it cleared, they knew Cosmos had won. Mamoru slumped in front of her now, not the evil prince who had been both enemy and lover. He was pale and more than a little worse for wear, but he would be okay. It was Jupiter who saw how bad Cosmos looked and called for the others. 

Her skin was ashen, her hair its natural gold. Her transformation faded, flickering through the stages. Her shrieks stopped, but she was barely moving. Bloody tears rolled down her cheeks. 

Mamoru was the first one to say anything. “Usa! Sailor Moon, wake up. Look at me! I need to know you’re all right! Tell me how to help. I can heal you, right? Mercury?!” He shifted Sailor Moon into his lap before glancing helplessly at her guardians. “What can I do?!”

“Too late…” the blonde whispered. “No time. Only long enough for one… last… wish…” The second crystal appeared in her hand again, as dull and defeated as she was. “Give them their rightful future… Build their eternity…”

I don’t want to die. I’ve spent all these lives hoping I’d sacrifice myself for my cause and never wake up again. Now that it’s happening, I want to stay, but it’s too late. I’ve accepted who I am, the warrior I’ve always despised. I accept my fate. 

In that moment, she knew it was the last life she’d ever have. Carefully, she lifted her free hand and caressed Mamoru’s cheek. “I love you,” she whispered before holding up the Lambda Crystal. Another burst of light surrounded them, lifting the group out of the Dark Kingdom and setting them in the park where they’d met. The barriers that imprisoned her there for so many years melted away. “I’m sorry… it took so long… to save you…”

“What did you do?!” he demanded, tears forming in the corners of his eyes. 

“Darkness… has to go somewhere… I took it… so you’d finally be free…”

Mamoru’s gaze latched on Mars, who was pale and shaking in her terrified rage. “Won’t it just turn her to the Dark Kingdom? Can’t we save her like she did for me?”

The fiery Senshi despairingly shook her head. “She can’t be turned; she’s too good, so it’s poisoning her. Between that and using those crystals to such an extent – she’s dying.”

“No. No, she can’t die. She’ll be okay, right? She’s strong enough for that. Can’t I heal her? Isn’t that what my powers are for?!” 

“She’s too far gone,” Jupiter said as kindly as she could, trying to forget that he was the reason for all of it. “She knew what would happen if she came back and faced you.”

“Then why do it?! She didn’t have to come back! She shouldn’t have come back!”

“Don’t cry…” Sailor Moon told Mamoru gently. “It doesn’t hurt much…”

An icy chill ran down his spine as he drew her even closer. “You’re giving up?”

“I made my choice… I knew what I was doing…”

“I can’t lose you,” he said desperately. “Tell me how to fix this. I don’t care if I end up your enemy again; just tell me what to do to make it stop. Don’t die, Usa, please.”

“It’s too late… I’m sorry… So sorry…” Her Silver Crystal fell into her hand. She gave it to him, folding his fingers around it. “You’ll know… what it’s for… I love you, Mamo-chan.”

With her last breath, she threw the Lambda Crystal skyward. It shattered as she went limp, filling the air with shards. The fragments began to grow, forming a massive palace of crystal. The foreseen perfect future, the paradise of Crystal Tokyo, had been born, but she’d been the tragedy that sparked it. 

“No!” Mamoru shouted. “Usako!”

“It’s too late,” Mercury said as silent tears rolled down her cheeks. “She’s already gone.”

“She can’t be,” he snapped. “She’ll come back. She always does; she told me so herself!”

“She made her choice,” Jupiter told him. “You know that.”

“It doesn’t matter! She promised she’d love me forever!”

“But you did this to her!” Mars screamed as her sobs finally broke free. “You’re the one who pushed her to this extreme! How dare you act like you’re the only one hurting!”

“Mars, stop,” Venus ordered, rubbing her eyes as if she were forcing herself not to cry. “We all knew it would end this way. There was no other choice.”

Sailor Pluto stepped out of a gate set in the room they were in. “This is not the end. Your duty is not yet complete, Sailor Senshi. There is still a task at hand.”

Mamoru ignored her, only holding Sailor Moon more tightly. It was Mercury who finally responded after several long, tense seconds. “And what would that be?”

“You have to build your future and guard her child as you would her.”

“Child?” Mamoru repeated. “She never had a child. I would’ve known.”

“The princess kept her secret well, Endymion-sama. She left to protect your daughter from the darkness. She came back to save you from it.”

“I’ll follow you,” he whispered as he caressed her hair, not even hearing what the Time Guardian said. “I deserve to die anyway. You should’ve let me die so you’d have survived.”

“Enough,” Pluto said sternly, drawing his attention back to her. “You cannot abandon your life so easily, Endymion-sama. You have a task as well. If you wish to rejoin the princess in the rest she has so dearly earned, you must make amends for what you have done.”

The distraught young man swallowed. “If I do a job, I’ll be with her again? What is it?!”

“You have to live,” the Time Guardian said simply.

“That’s it? Just live. YOU EXPECT ME TO BE ABLE TO LIVE AFTER THIS?!”

She shook her head, unfazed. “No. You have to do what she would have. You have to raise your daughter and rule your kingdom. This is your planet, a responsibility you ignored for too long already. If you can prove you deserve this chance, you will go to her when you die.”

“Do you think I should be a king after what I did? Do you THINK I can handle any of this without her?! A child you claim I have, one I’ve never seen – you think I can be a parent?!”

A bundle of blankets appeared in her arms, and she extended them to the grief-stricken hero. “She is named for her mother. The Silver Crystal is for her. When she is old enough to take it and rule, your task will be done. Can you accept that, Endymion-sama? Or will you resign yourself to an eternity without the one you love most?”

Mamoru accepted the baby in shock, looking down at a face he somehow knew would be a perfect replica of her mother’s some day. “I – I can’t call her Usagi. I can barely say the name.”

“Before she died,” Jupiter said, voice cracking, “Usagi-chan called her Chibiusa.”

“Chibiusa,” he repeated hoarsely. “She looks just like her.” He shot a horrified look at Pluto. “I don’t know how to raise a child. I don’t know how to be a king or help people. How can I do this when I barely remember how to be human?!”

“It is up to you to find the answer, Endymion-sama, because you are a king and a father now. This palace was built with Sailor Moon’s last breath, but you must guide the kingdom she defended for you, as is your duty as the sole heir.”

She vanished, leaving them to their grief and their work.

88888888

Kneeling, King Endymion traced his hand over the crystal facets covering the one woman he’d ever truly loved. He’d hoped for a long time that Usagi would be reborn, but the years had whittled away at that wish until there was nothing left. Endymion was forced to give up. Seeing her unchanged even through the ruin and rebuilding of the world was the only comfort he had. 

Well. That, and their daughter. Even Chibiusa was too close to her name, so he raised the princess as Small Lady. All he could give her of her mother was stories of the Sailor Moon he’d known before everything went wrong, the beautiful heroine who fought the darkness no matter the odds. Despite how much of her mother was in her, he didn’t think she’d ever fill the void.

The Silver Crystal he placed under lock and key, unwilling to let it be used. Though he’d been told Chibiusa would someday inherit its power and that when she did he’d be free, he loved his daughter too much to want to see her carrying such a terrible risk and burden. 

“Endymion, it’s time,” Jadeite said behind him. 

The Shitennou had been revived to help him and to atone for their own wrongdoings so they too would be freed in the next life. The Senshi, the king thought, had never really forgiven them, but they accepted them. Of course, he was sure they’d never forgiven him either.

“Endymion?”

“I’m coming. Just give me a moment, Jadeite.”

The blond general nodded and left, understanding that his king wanted to be alone. He’d emerge when he was ready; it wasn’t as if anything could happen without him.

“She’s taking the Silver Crystal today,” he whispered. “Our Small Lady is all grown up, and after this I won’t even be able to call her that. She’ll be Princess Lady Serenity, and once she gets married she’ll be queen. She’s so much like you. Please say she doesn’t need her old father anymore. Tell me I’m done. I don’t know how much longer I can deal with this.”

“My king, the princess is looking for you.” Kunzite said as he appeared, setting a hand on his master’s shoulder. “She is ill at ease and seeks reassurance.”

Taking a breath, he nodded. “Okay.” The king managed a smile. “Is she in her room?”

“I’m right here, actually.”

He turned and met his daughter’s wine-colored eyes. He’d never understood how she had pink hair and red eyes when he and her mother had much more mundane colors. He wondered if it was the result of her mixed heritage and the darkness that was in him when she was conceived. 

“Are you all right?”

“Just nervous, Papa. The crystal is a lot of responsibility. I know you want me to be ready, but I don’t know if I really am.”

Endymion managed a weak smile. “I’ve told you about your mother, right?” When she nodded, he continued. “She wasn’t ready either. I never mentioned that before. She didn’t want to be a hero; she didn’t want the crystal and its powers. She just wanted to be normal, but she knew people would be hurt if she didn’t fight. That’s how I know you’re really prepared for this, Small Lady – because you think you’re not.”

“Mama was scared too?”

His heart seized a little when she called Usagi that, but he nodded. “Very much so.”

Chibiusa glided forward and looked at her mother’s face through the crystal. “I wish I’d known her.” She bit her lip. “I’m sorry. I know you don’t like discussing it.”

The king shook his head slowly. “Today of all days you have the right. I’ll deal with it.”

“What happened to her?” the princess asked in a rush. “Why did she die? Why did she leave us?! The Senshi won’t tell me what went wrong, no matter how many times I ask. What happened that the all-powerful Sailor Moon finally lost?!”

“She didn’t lose. Gods, I wish she had.”

“Then what? Jupiter said she wanted to protect me, that she fought so I’d be safe, but was something after me? What did I need to be protected from?”

Endymion winced. “From – from me.” He told her everything they’d kept from her ever since she’d been old enough to ask questions. How he’d been taken by the Dark Kingdom, what he’d put her mother through. He covered the years spent searching and with tears in his eyes, he relived her last fight. “She sacrificed herself so I’d survive and you’d have a father.”

Chibiusa looked horrified. “You did all that?!”

“Yes. Believe me, I regret it more than you can possibly imagine. I wear a mask because Tuxedo Kamen was the man she trusted, and it reminds me to honor her memory. Why do you think I’m slow to exercise my authority? I can’t be trusted with power. I’m only king because I had to rule if I want to reunite with your mother in whatever afterlife there is for people like us.”

“But why?! Even if you were being controlled by the Dark Kingdom, why go so far?!”

“I know you won’t believe me, but in spite of everything, the man I was cared about her. He didn’t love her, he couldn’t, but she was the only person he’d ever think of as more than a pawn. I know what I did was inexcusable, but if she hadn’t loved me despite what I did to her, she never would’ve let it go so far.”

The princess nodded. “Can I have a minute to think about this? With Mama?”

Endymion left without another word, only raising a hand in greeting when a young man passed by to see the princess. Helios joined her by her mother’s crystal coffin, wrapping his arms around her shoulder. She leaned back into him, tears in her expressive eyes.

“Did you know about all of that? What really happened?” she asked.

“With your mother and father? Yes. Master told me not long after her death.”

“You never said a word.” The tone wasn’t meant to be accusing, but it was.

“Had I ruined your image of him, you would have been devastated. It was not my place to break their confidence and tell you their story, Usa.”

Chibiusa flinched. “He used to call her that, you know. Before he stopped saying her name at all. What do I do, Helios? Knowing he’ll probably try to kill himself when I get married, how can I tell him you proposed?”

“I asked his permission. He is already aware that we intend to marry.”

“He’s my father! Even after finding all this out, he’s still the man who raised me and has always been there for as long as I can remember. I want to be angry, but the person he used to be, my mother, I don’t know them. I know him, and I can’t bear the thought of losing him!”

“Even if you delay telling him, he knows you are ready to stand for yourself. He would not allow you to inherit your mother’s crystal if it were not so.”

“But choosing death is too much! Can’t he wait until he dies of old age? At least then it would be natural and he wouldn’t be choosing a dead woman over his own daughter!”

Helios sighed. “I do not think that is what he is doing. He only realizes that his task here is complete and you do not need his presence any longer. He is tied to your mother on the most fundamental of levels. She was his reason for existing.”

“What about me?! Even if he doesn’t have to take care of me anymore, I still need him! He’s my father, Helios, the only family I have! I’ll always need him!”

“And he needs her. Do you want him to stay knowing he is completely miserable?”

She curled into herself, looking very small and hurt. “Can’t I be enough?”

“It isn’t that you’re not enough,” Endymion said hoarsely, standing in the doorway. “I’m sorry; I had to hear what you were thinking. Small Lady, you’re all that’s kept me alive since she died. Not because I had to, not because of your mother. When I looked at you, I could remember what it was to have hope. You’re not lacking in any way.”

“Then why?!” she demanded. “You have so much here. Why do you have to go?!”

“Because I can’t live without her. Not really.”

She hated that she was crying. It made her feel weak, like she was never going to live up to her heroic mother’s legacy. “Is it because I’m not enough like her? I can be brave and strong and powerful like she was, I promise, just don’t leave me!”

His face fell. “Oh, sweetheart, that’s not it. You’re just like her; every day I see you do something that makes me think of how proud she’d be.” Endymion swallowed hard before continuing. “Small Lady – No. Chibiusa, please. I can’t go until you make peace with this.”

“Then I won’t! I don’t want you to die, Papa. I need to be enough for you want to live!”

“I don’t have that much time left. I’ve accepted that. Now it only comes down to whether or not I can reunite with your mother. If you can’t let me go, I’ll never see her again. Please don’t put me through that, Chibiusa. I’m asking you to say goodbye.”

Helios slipped out, giving them privacy. Chibiusa sank to her knees, hands over her face as her father hesitantly came closer and put his hand on her shoulder. When she only cried harder, he crouched and gave her a hug. 

“I don’t want you to go… I don’t know how to say goodbye to you!”

Endymion’s grip tightened. “You don’t have to say the words. If you can stay with me and say you love me before I go, that’ll be enough. I’m not dying today; it’s not even going to be this week or this month. I’ll be here until you’re married. I want to give you away so when I see your mother I can tell her about our little girl’s wedding. She never had a chance to have one. But when the time comes, sit with me and tell me you love me. I’ll know you’ve accepted it and I’ll be free to rejoin your mother. You’ll see me again. It’s not like you’re saying goodbye forever; you’ll join us someday. We’ll finally be able to be a family.”

“Did Puu say you had to wait for that too?! Is it just another task so you can see Mama?!”

“No. Chibiusa, I’m staying that long because of you. If I can’t be there for your wedding, if you can’t accept my death, I won’t be able to go to your mother because I won’t be able to let go. I need these things from you.”

“But why so soon?!”

“I’ve held on as long as I can, baby, I swear. I just…” He sighed. “I’ve been sick. I asked Zoisite and Mercury to keep it quiet, but the clock’s ticking. I only have a few months at best. I was so happy when Helios asked to marry you; I finally thought I’d be able to give you away before it was too late. I’d been so afraid that I’d die first and you’d be alone.”

“What’s wrong with you?” When he hesitated, Chibiusa pressed. “Papa? Please, you have to tell me if you want me to accept this.”

“I have a cardiac angiosarcoma,” the king finally responded.

“A what?”

“It’s a very rare heart tumor. It should have killed me years ago, but our healing powers are buying me time. We can’t keep it up much longer; it’s spreading too quickly.”

“So you’re dying of a broken heart,” she said with a humorless laugh.

“That’s one way to look at it, I guess.”

Chibiusa was shocked and horrified, but she was finally able to tell her father she would be able to do what he needed before he died. 

88888888

“It will not be much longer,” Zoisite said as he stepped out of the king’s chamber. “I do not think he can even hear us now.”

“It was only a matter of time, but he’ll hear me,” the young queen said before brushing by and entering her father’s room for the last time.

Seeing King Endymion a wasted wreck was hard, but she’d spent their little remaining time together preparing. He’d given her away at her wedding a month after he told her the truth, and she and Helios had learned everything he could teach them about how to run a kingdom. She ascended the throne three weeks after her marriage, taking the title of Queen Lady in deference to her grandmother and her mother, who would have been Neo Queen had she lived. 

In the last week, his condition had deteriorated rapidly. He had several minor heart attacks in a two day span. Healing spells were no longer effective, even when he, Zoisite and Sailor Mercury combined their powers. She knew part of it was because he was ready to let go. He tried to put it off for her sake, but finally she’d said to stop. She wouldn’t make him linger when he was in so much pain. 

His eyes flickered open as she sat next to him. “Chibi…usa…”

“I’m here, Papa.”

Endymion managed a wry grin. “Not so little… now… You’re all grown up…”

“I guess I am. Does that mean I’m Usagi now instead of Chibiusa?”

He flinched, and she immediately felt bad. Still, he nodded. “Yeah, I think… you are. I love you, baby…”

“Papa, please. You have to say my name, my real name, at least once first.” She was an inch away from crying, but she’d sworn not to until it was over. “Please.”

“My beautiful daughter…” The king swallowed. “Usagi…”

Chibiusa took a deep breath. “Good-bye, Papa. I love you.”

“Love you… too…”

He was gone as soon as the words left his lips, and she burst into tears as Helios eased her away. The bells rang overhead, broadcasting the old king’s death to the city.

The king is dead. Long live the queen.

88888888

Usagi was the first thing he saw after he died, gowned in white and reaching for him as they stood in the center of a place he could only describe as heaven. They really wouldn’t be reborn again. He took her hand, realizing his was suddenly as firm and strong as it had been before their lives were irrevocably ruined by the Dark Kingdom. 

“Welcome home, Mamo-chan. I love you.”


End file.
